There are far too many burger joints in Melbourne.
Said no one ever!
A rocking burger joint in every suburb is frankly a necessity and now Ascot Vale has one in the form of Motorhome Majestic. Josh Lefers, the creative behind Grand Trailer Park Taverna and Werribee’s Truck Stop Deluxe, has converted a large space at the top end of Union Road into a Motorhome commune. Settle into one of the cushioned bench seats and plan your attack on the menu.
The burgers here are generally of the extreme variety. The Jorje sees the addition of a chilli cheese kransky to a range of spicy toppings, the Francis Underwood tops a beef patty with a mac and cheese croquette. There is plenty of cheese being thrown about here.
Also plenty of bacon – Bacon Bacon ($16) to be exact. My burger had double bacon, double beef and double cheese – pretty much sorted out my iron, calcium and, well… salt needs for a week with this one. It sounds kind of over the top (OTT) and ridiculous but was made absolutely enjoyable to the last bite by a fabulous chipotle mayo (also a generous slice of tomato with lettuce and pickles but mentioning that sounds like I’m trying to absolve myself of all the bacon).
The OTT award has to go to the Walter White ($19). Imagine if Hungry Jacks fell in love with KFC and made a baby, that baby would be called Walter. There’s fried chicken, bacon, coleslaw, double cheese (because why single cheese when you can double?) and in case you are still concerned about a lack of protein, there’s 170g of beef. Somehow My Love ate it all (it became a challenge), somehow he’s still alive. Give him a week or so and he’ll be going back for another.
I should mention that there are some normal sized burgers and a vegetarian option with a chickpea patty. If burgers don’t float your boat then there is also fried chicken, chicken ribs, a pork rib dish that sounds like smoky barbecue paradise, and a salad – fret not, it has bacon, popcorn chicken and cheese in it.
Just to make sure you don’t go home hungry, there is a range of sides including mac & cheese croquettes (you really can never get enough) and 3 kinds of fries.
You probably need a drink at this point. There is quite a substantial (and perhaps slightly overpriced) beer list, and an equally substantial (and well priced) wine list featuring an all-Victorian offering. But really, you have to top off your gluttony with a spiked milkshake to complete the experience.
The Salted Caramel ($17) is topped with caramelised bacon (because by this point I was really craving a little extra bacon) and strikes a good balance between sweet/salty and boozy with a kick from Makers Mark Bourbon.
I am a glutton for punishment (or just a glutton) so I HAD to try an ice cream doughnut (usually $10 for two). A freshly fried doughnut is filled with a scoop of 7 Apples gelato and if you ask nicely, topped with syrup. The doughnut is superb – a crisp ball of light and fluffy dough. If anything the gelato was a touch on the sweet side. And yes, I realise you can’t take that comment seriously after I’ve just detailed what we demolished.
The pricing generally is on the higher end of the scale, but then the food is definitely on the higher end in terms of size, and more importantly quality.
Motorhome Majestic is kitsch and over the top in all the right ways. The food strikes a balance between bizarre and finger licking delicious; the decor makes you feel like you are in a trippy American teen movie. It conjures the same sense of wonderment and delight that childhood trips to fast food joints used to bring, but with infinitely bigger, better meals and the added benefit of alcoholic beverages. The bench seats come in handy too if you need a moment to nap off your food coma.
Disclosure: I dined as a guest of Motorhome Majestic however, all opinions remain my own.